Tales From A Hungry Life

May 13, 2018

What Motherhood Taught Me

Filed under: Family,Food,food, family, fun, laughter,Humor,pets,Teachers,Uncategorized — talesfromahungrylife @ 10:11 am

by Maria Schulz

Motherhood is a tricky business. When you first start out on this road, you are certain you will do things differently from your own mother/grandmother/best friend/mortal enemy. You think you know better! Of course you do. Your intentions are good, and you think that your judgment will never be clouded by:

Get ready…

  • Lack of sleep
  • Illness
  • Impatience
  • Boredom
  • Desperation
  • Deprivation
  • Your basic humanity

You will rise above all of that because this little person/little people are so important, nothing else matters. You will never make a mistake! You will always put their needs ahead of yours. Blah, blah, blah. Like, I said, good intentions. Just remember that old saying: the road to hell is paved with good intentions. HA! Welcome to Motherhood.

Here’s what I’ve learned about being a mother (so far, anyway). I learned these things by watching my mother, grandmothers, sisters-in-law, friends, and from personal experience. Here we go.

15 Things I Learned About Motherhood

  1. Everyday is not a Hallmark moment. Yes, you will have times when you realize how lucky you are and what a joy motherhood is. However, when you’re up to your eyeballs in dirty laundry, screaming kids, and sleepless nights, you may just dream of running away to Tahiti and never coming back. That’s okay. You are human. Grin and bear it. This too shall pass.

    Calgon, take me away!

  2. There will never be a parade held in your honor. If you are expecting small children (or big children) to: throw confetti in your path or shower you with laurel leaves following a great dinner; or for finding those ruby red slippers that your daughter needs to complete her Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz costume; or because you brought your son’s cleats to school so he doesn’t miss practice…forget it. You are Mom! Motherhood is the worst job you will ever love. There are no parades for doing what Moms do!

    Thanks for the sandwich, Mom!

  3. The other mothers in your neighborhood may or may not be your lifelong friends. Made for TV movies show Moms immediately hitting it off and their children becoming best friends forever. If you are lucky enough to experience this, congratulations! You are truly blessed. The rest of us…not so much. Finding a compatible mother to befriend is a lot like dating. You have to kiss a lot of toads and most of the time, you get nothing.

    Is this the one?

  4. When you do find a mother you like, don’t expect your kids to love her kids. This is like finding a bag of gold at the end of the rainbow. Maybe you’ve seen leprechauns and know where to find them as they hide their gold, but the rest of us need to just chill. You can be friends with mom, but try not to force your kids into being friends with a kid they can’t stand. Better to grieve now than later.

    The only leprechaun I know

  5. Your momma was right…with some caveats. My mother-in-law once told me not to wish my kids’ lives away. Yes, those early days can be endless, but try to enjoy infancy (sleep when they sleep is the golden rule. Laundry can wait). Don’t lose your patience during the toddler years (you will laugh about this, believe me). Even the teen years have their high points. Enjoy the K-12 school years. You may think that those years will last forever…but they don’t.


  6. Your body is different now. You will sometimes look at yourself in the mirror and think: OH MY GOD WHY WHY WHY DO I LOOK JUST LIKE MY MOTHER/GRANDMOTHER? It’s because you’ve got kids. You don’t sleep, you are constantly on the run, and you share genes with your mother and grandmother. Be proud of how you look. Kids are a miracle, and you are a miracle maker. Plus your mother and grandmother were no slouches, either.

    Miracle maker

  7. Don’t fight with kids over vegetables, clothing, or imaginary play. Why are you getting into power struggles over that? So they hate broccoli. Do you love every vegetable? Keep offering it but don’t go mental if they continue to decline it. He wants to wear polka dots with stripes and he is determined to do it. Well then…go to it, fella. She wants to pretend she’s Superman but you’d rather she want to be Wonder Woman? Tomorrow she may want to be Scooby Doo. Will you insist she be Lassie? Just let them make the easy choices for themselves. Kids love that.
  8. Don’t forget your partner. If you’re lucky enough to have a partner, remember to make time for him/her too. My kids always loved being with their Dad, and they loved seeing us happy together. That’s a gift that they always enjoy getting (and it’s cheap). They will smile every time they see you two being affectionate until they become teenagers and decide that having parents who care about each other IS SO GROSS.


  9. Being a Class Mom or Committee Chairperson for the PTA does not make you God. Oh those heady, power-fueled years. You can take all of your friends on trips with you! You can say who gets to come to in-party classes! You get to tell Sally that she has to bring in those impossible to find gluten-free/nut-free/taste-free cookies that no one but your kid likes! Eh…get over yourself. Pull names from a hat and make sure every parent in the class gets a shot at those trips and special events (their kids want to see them, too). Pick up those cookies yourself. Don’t forget there are kids in the class other than your own and you will get through those years with your sense of humor and self-respect intact.

    Parents who never get to come to in-class events

  10. Your child is not only listening…he/she is watching you. If you want your children to be kind and help others…be kind and help others. If you don’t want your kids to curse, don’t curse. Yes, we all make mistakes and slip, but still. Walk the walk and talk the talk, Mom. Don’t be the “do as I say not as I do” creature that you promised yourself you would never become.

    Be the person your dog thinks you are

  11. When you do find other moms whose company you enjoy, get together with them. It’s easy to say “I don’t have time,” because none of us do. But when you make your own happiness a priority, you stop cancelling the things you enjoy. Start a book club with likeminded moms. Go to Zumba class. Walk around the neighborhood. Me time is not a sin. It shows your kids that you deserve a break and that you value your sanity. Let them miss you!

    Get moving

  12. Be a passionate advocate. Yes, I’ll admit it: the thought of someone mistreating my child makes me want to become Godzilla rampaging through Tokyo. However, I’ve reigned in most of that outrage and turned it into passionate advocacy. I will always talk to the teachers, guidance counselors, and principal if necessary so that my child’s needs are addressed. And when all else fails, I imagine Godzilla being my advocate.

    So I see you’ve met my child

  13. Embrace your child’s personality. Is your child funny? Talented? Smart? Naive? Clueless? Innocent? Mischievous? Will you always like their character traits? Will life always be a romp through the flower fields with your kids? Nah. But if you accept your child as they are–and don’t try to bend them into what you’d wished they would be–you may be surprised at just how awesome they really are. Plus, they may treat you with equal respect (maybe, someday. Perhaps).

    All unique. All awesome

  14. Laugh…a lot (but mostly to yourself). Kids are hilarious. Talk to them. Listen to their music. Watch their shows. Engage their friends in conversations. When you drive them and their friends places, listen to their conversations. It’s like being an undercover agent. The kids forget they have a parent in the car and you discover lots of intriguing, funny, sometimes disturbing, but always important things about them.

    Sure, I’ll drive you and your friends. Forget I’m even there

  15. Enjoy the ride. Do you hate roller coasters? Well, then parenting may make you nauseous. However, you will learn to throw your hands up in the air and “ride the wave” eventually. Just strap yourself in and smile. There will be highs and lows but life will always be interesting. Don’t fight it. Scream if you must. But always be ready for the adventure!

    Makes everything better

10 Easy Brunch Recipes for Mother’s Day

You had me at Nutella! Find recipes for crepes, huevos rancheros, mimosas, and more. So, hungry lifers…what have you learned about motherhood–either from personal experience or by watching the moms in your life? What’s your favorite brunch recipe? Please post a comment below and let us all know. Thanks, and Happy Mother’s Day!


  1. Welcome back! Haven’t heard from you in a while! No matter what you do Mothers are always remembered if the kids become famous and even if they don’t, they will always thank their mothers because generally speaking they are always there. However Fathers are there too, generally, especially today when lines are somewhat blurred. However the athlete, movie star and nerd too always says when he/she has the chance, says to an audience, hi MOM, love you! Maybe they will remember the father but only as a second thought. I was kid once and that’s exactly what happened to all my compatriots & me. But hey this all about Mothers and I am grateful to have had one of the best. What? Oh yeah, my father was pretty good also. Good to see you blogging again.

    Comment by bglou — May 13, 2018 @ 1:21 pm | Reply

    • Thanks! It’s good to be back. My mother was amazing. I can understand why athletes always turn to the camera and say “Hi Mom!” By the way, my father was pretty good too. 🙂

      Comment by talesfromahungrylife — May 13, 2018 @ 1:55 pm | Reply

  2. Good to read one of your blogs again!!

    Comment by lisasafran — May 14, 2018 @ 12:38 pm | Reply

  3. Maria, spot on about enduring the path of motherhood/parenthood. Sometimes you have to step back and view it as if you weren’t a character in the drama, but watching a movie unfold in front of your eyes. If you can do this for at least two minutes a day your mindset might get you through the remaining 23 hours and 58 minutes left in the day.

    Comment by Tony Lagalante — May 14, 2018 @ 1:19 pm | Reply

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