Tales From A Hungry Life

December 22, 2016

10 Tips for Surviving The Office Holiday Party

by Maria Schulz

It’s the most wonderful time of the year…well, almost. You’ve got a million things to do and no time to do it. Of course, in the middle of all of this madness marches the Office Holiday Party! While making merry with your colleagues can be a hoot and a holla, there are some landmines you must avoid. So, without further ado, here are my…

Wait! I'm not ready

Wait! I’m not ready

10 Tips For Navigating The Sometimes Rocky Shoals of the Office Christmas Party

#10. If it’s a party at a fancy location, don’t dress like you’re going to a ho-down. This ain’t hot dogs and burgers on the company lawn. Deny thy “hee-haw” ways and reach into your closet for an outfit that would make your momma proud.

Not the look you're going for

Not the look you’re going for

#9. Don’t dress like Lady Gaga in her meat dress. This is an office holiday party. Your hero may be Lady Marmalade/The American Gigolo, but save that look for clubbing with friends. Would Grandma gag if she saw your outfit? If the answer is even “maybe,” then look for a more suitable get-up.

#8. Don’t drink yourself silly. Sure, a glass or two of your favorite alcoholic beverage is a great way to loosen up and enjoy yourself. But everyone knows/has a story about that office co-worker who got plastered at the party and then told the CEO what a total nimrod/creepy jerk he/she has been all year. You probably love that story. But…don’t be that person!

Run away!

Run away!

#7. Steer clear of the office gossip. Of course it’s amusing to hear about Peggy and Peter and their raging office affair, or how Mr. Smithers from the executive office is hot for Penelope Pittstop from accounting. But hanging around with the Office Gossip may just land you in the next story about something stupid you’ve done, or make you guilty by association. You don’t want to be the next punchline in his stand-up routine.

#6. If the Office Suck Up/Do Nothing wins an award, smile and clap politely. There are greater travesties of justice to rail about in the outside world. Raining on this person’s parade just makes you look like a jerk.

So long, Crabby

So long, Crabby

#5. Should your co-worker ask if he/she can sit at your mostly empty table during the cocktail hour, of course welcome them. That’s the case even if this person makes your gag reflex work on overdrive. You have to work with this person the rest of the year. Chalk it up to the spirit of Christmas or your second glass of wine, but do it. Keep that smile on your face and the conversation light. Invite others to join you. You’ll live, and maybe this lonely, crabby outcast from the office will carry that goodwill you’ve expressed forward into your daily interactions.

Weather? Check. Shopping? Check.

Weather? Check. Shopping? Check.

#4. Brush up on your small talk in the days leading up to the event. Find neutral, non-offensive topics to discuss and practice on your significant others. “Can you believe how hot/cold/rainy/snowy it’s been?” “Did you do all of your shopping yet?” “Are you going away for the holidays?” are all great starters, and they might just get the dud sitting next to you off and running.

#3. Don’t overshare. No, this is NOT the time or place to tell everyone you come in contact with about that hilarious time you did a drunken version of “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights” on your old office karaoke machine or how you egged the boss’s car after last year’s party. That’s old news, or at least you better hope it is. Don’t go there.

Dance like Snoopy

Dance like Snoopy

#2. If there’s dancing, get up and dance. The hours fly by when you’re out there, and even if you look like Elaine on Seinfeld, you’re still having a good time. The boss sprung for a DJ/band. You might as well enjoy it.

Don't be that person

Don’t be that person

#1. Thank the hoi polloi in charge for a lovely event. Maybe the food was terrible, the band gave you a headache, and 5 hours of merry making with people you’ve already spent 40 hours with this week seems like overkill. So what? Don’t be a Debbie Downer. You got to go to a party. It’s not like you spent the day working in a salt mine.

Recipe

Reindeer Cake!

Let them eat Reindeer Cake! Enjoy this recipe from the Food Network and watch the video so you can see how to decorate it perfectly. Go ahead, make Santa proud! Two words: ganache and pretzels. ‘Nuff said.

So…what are your best tips for surviving the office holiday party? What’s your best holiday party story? Favorite recipe? Please leave a comment and let us all know. Thanks! Enjoy.

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